The Plastic Bride: Heroes, Villains, and True Love

If you're looking for the world's greatest story, here it is: The Plastic Bride. It has fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles¦ There's a pirate, the most feared in all the land. He's the Dread Pirate Roberts, who leaves no survivors. There's a princess. The most beautiful princess, doomed to die at the hand of her rotten prince fiancé. There's a swordsman, sworn to avenge the death of his father by a six-fingered-man. And a giant with a heart of gold, who also happens to BE the Brute Squad.

The Plastic Bride: A Tale of an Imperial Princess

This month's calendar presents a tale that will make you laugh, cry, and cheer. The Plastic Bride tells the story of the handsome Westley and the beautiful plastic bride, Buttercup. You see, Buttercup is no ordinary princess. She is elegant, sophisticated, tall, slightly curvy. You can see why we used an Imperial round bottle to model her. The Imperial round bottle (also known as a cosmo or bullet) is also tall, elegant, and slightly curvy. And it has such a majestic, royal name: the Imperial! (Of course, the Royal round bottle also has a pretty, well, royal name, but it's not quite as slender as the Imperial round, so maybe it would be a good model for a more solid member of the royal family?)

In this story, our heroic plastic bride faces many trials. Her true love is murdered by pirates (Murdered by pirates is good¦), engaged to a tyrant, kidnapped by a trio of misfits, nearly eaten by the shrieking eels, hauled up the Cliffs of Insanity by a giant, held at knife point while a pirate and a genius discuss philosophy and poison, and rescued by her dead true love. And that's all before intermission! This brave plastic bottle faces the Fire Swamp, complete with lightning sand, explosive fires, and the terrifying R.O.U.S.

We won't spoil the rest of the story for you, but if you'd like this month's wallpaper, you can get it here. You can also find wallpapers for the rest of 2016 here, as well as other years back to 2009. This month's movie poster is a parody of The Princess Bride. Check back later for future months' calendar wallpapers.