origins parody

Origins: The Boston Round Bottle (Part 2) – What’s in a name?

The secret society of the Boston Round (which we have learned is called the Order of the Boston Round, hereafter referred to as the OBR) has struck again.  It’s clear that they worked their way into the senior management team here at CPS, as our request for travel tickets to Boston were refused.

This has been a setback for us, but nevertheless, we will still bring out the truth of the Boston round origins.  We’ve lost a good lead but we decide to work our research from another angle.  Instead of looking back through history, we’ll look from the past to the present.

We discovered that people have made bottles for thousands of years.  In prehistoric times they were often made from clay or woven plant material and coated with asphaltum (a sticky oil with a tar-like consistency.)  This would make them ideal for storing water, food, or medicines.

However a key feature for the Boston round bottle is that they are made of glass or plastic.   the earliest known glass bottles were made by the Phoenician civilization that lived in the area now known as Lebanon.  Since Boston Round Bottles are typically made of glass or plastic, ancient Phoenicia seemed a good place to get started in our search.  This meant that the earliest ancestor of a Boston Round could have been made around 1200-539 BC.

Could our new found nemesis (the OBR) really be this ancient?  Could they have existed for 3,000 years with so few knowing about their existence?  Find out in the next installment of Origins: the Boston Round Bottle.

4 thoughts on “Origins: The Boston Round Bottle (Part 2) – What’s in a name?

  1. loved this entertaining story, more interested in how you got a major company to allow some levity. Well done. please feel free to send me more fun stuff.

    • Thanks Jay, we like to show our sense of humor because we feel it’s an extension of our company culture. After all we’re people and not robots (well not yet anyway.) Glad you liked the articles!

  2. That’s great, but the real question is WHAT HAS HAPPENED to what I believe used to be called the amber half round bottle???? They are rectangular actually, not even half round, but they appear to have stopped making them in larger sizes about 20 years ago. They fit so much better on a shelf, don’t break as easily, and are just generally better. Now the only thing similar can only found in puny sizes of 100 or 250mL and are called amber oblong flasks.
    Why are they not made anymore??
    Will anyone ever make them again??
    I don’t know if they were ever called Boston or not, but I do know that it is a tragedy that they are no longer around.

    ~desperately seeking quart sized rectangular amber glass bottles….

    • Hi Caty,

      I can’t really answer as to why they aren’t around anymore – my guess is the demand slowed to the point where it didn’t make sense to stock them anymore. I am sure that they would be available somewhere, most likely overseas, but even if that’s the case, there would be a minimum order requirement, probably around 25-50 thousand pieces.

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